


Little surprises

by westofnowhere



Category: Heavy Rain
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Freeform, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Past Violence, Proper Police Procedure, Slice of Life, Tags to be added, background Madison Page/Lauren Winter, okay there's a bit of a plot, past trauma, there will definitely be sex, there will probably be sex, there's no plot but dating
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-13
Updated: 2018-07-18
Packaged: 2019-06-09 15:35:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,288
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15270642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/westofnowhere/pseuds/westofnowhere
Summary: Norman Jayden, FBI, hadn't expected to fall practically head over heels for someone, especially a fugitive and a possible criminal.But Norman Jayden also knew quite well that this man, this desperate man that the police hunted so earnestly, wasn't the killer.And after everything...after everything was over, a chance meeting with the man Norman had become quite smitten with turns into something far more.And Norman sure loves what it's turned into. It feels like home.





	1. Chance

**Author's Note:**

> create the content you want to see because rarepairs are physically painful to have and I've been meaning to write something for these two for literally years.
> 
> okay so this was started without a plan and it still doesn't REALLY have a plan but I know I want to do lots of cuddles and probably sexy times and also probably some background actual police stuff because if David Cage can't be bothered to research how the police operates, I will do it for him and then point out all the faults like a smug asshole.

Ethan Mars had been innocent.

Norman Jayden was sure of it almost immediately. It was the process of proving that he was innocent and maybe even doing something remarkably illegal that instilled in Norman his convictions. Ethan Mars was also a broken man. It was remarkable and disheartening to see just how much he had changed over the few days between his report of Shaun’s disappearance to when Norman saw him handcuffed in the interrogation room. Norman remembered it so well, as if it was a photograph imprinted on his memory. His wrists were bandaged…so were his knuckles and where his pinky used to be…a small bandaged stump remained.

Now, Norman was nothing if not a really, REALLY good profiler. Top of his job and all that.

But it didn’t take a genius to see this broken, grieving man and figure out that the last thing this man was, was a well composed and well planned serial killer. Hell, Norman would stake his life and his job that Ethan Mars was NOT the Origami killer.

He was a desperate man.

And Norman, in some foolish show of solidarity or chivalry or compassion, had decided to do something desperate as well. He had set Ethan free. Norman could still remember the look on Ethan’s face as Norman shoved the police rain poncho into his now uncuffed hands.

“Wh…I…don’t know what to say…”

“Say that you’ll help your son.”

“I will…of course I will.”

“I’ll do my best to help him too.”

Ethan had stared at Norman for what seemed like an eternity and Norman still remembered how naked he suddenly felt under that piercing but sad gaze.

“Thank you,” Ethan had rasped at last, slipping the poncho on with some of Norman’s help. And briefly, their hands met. And briefly…just briefly…Norman’s brain went blank. What…what was he doing…he had touched Ethan Mars’ hair ever so gently…helped him to his feet…

Norman had let Ethan go.

And now, Norman had done something even more foolish; getting into a fight far above ground with a man far larger than Norman’s small frame. He was no fighter but these past few days had seen him fight far more than he had in his life. And somehow…somehow he had survived.

But the best news was that Shaun Mars had survived as well.

All that work. All that fighting and clawing and effort to see this child returned to his father had finally, FINALLY paid off. Norman’s relief was overwhelming to the point that he almost collapsed then and there and it took all of his strained effort to return not only to reality but also to the ground far below him.

It took a good week to come down from the euphoria from solving a case that the police department had failed to solve for so long. Norman didn’t care much that Blake refused to drop the attitude with him. All he cared was that it was done. Shaun Mars was safe and so, by extension, was his father. He even refused to care that maybe all that overuse of the ARI was doing something to him that was likely not good.

The hallucinations were…unnerving. But even that was an understatement. The first time the little tanks crawled all around him, Norman thought he had died and was surrounded by soul eating rats. It was hard not to scream…to try and wave them off and look like a lunatic in the process. His hands shook violently.

Closing his eyes tightly and pressing his shaking hands to his face, Norman counted down from ten.

10…It was all an illusion

9…it was the overuse of the ARI causing this

8…everything was alright

7…he wasn’t dead

6…he was okay

5…they solved the case

4…they found the killer

3…the killer was dead

2…Shaun Mars was alive and safe

1……..Ethan Mars was alive and safe…..

Breathing deep, Norman finally let his eyes open, rubbing at them vigorously.

The little tanks were gone and the blood, that had slowly trickled down from his nose, had congealed over his lips. Norman grimaced, finding a tissue to wipe the blood away before wandering off to the bathroom to wash his face. The cold water was incredibly refreshing on his skin and Norman had to keep reminding himself of his reality and that this was real and the ARI was not.

And anyway, his work wasn’t finished. If the police department thought they’d get rid of him that easily, they thought wrong. Oh, he stopped working in conjunction with them for sure, but their blatant incompetence was beyond what Norman ever thought he’d find in a police department. Not just incompetence…blatant disregard for any police procedure or even laws themselves. No warrants, no innocent till proven guilty and the violence? Norman didn’t think he’d have to file an investigation on a police department yet here he was, sitting now at the desk in his hotel room, staring intently at his laptop screen.

_Under federal law, including but not limited to the Hobbs Act of 1951, this order seeks to investigate the Philadelphia police department of the following violations;_

  * _Failure to attain a warrant before multiple arrests_
  * _Blatant use of police brutality against suspects in detention and blatant use of police brutality against key witnesses in investigation._
  * _Threatening FBI personnel with live weapon on police grounds._
  * _The pointing of live weapons at unarmed civilians without properly adhering to the steps of Escalation and without probable cause._
  * _Blatant disregard for “innocent until proven guilty” statute codified in the Universal Declaration of Human Rights, article 11, stating:  “_ _Everyone charged with a penal offence has the right to be presumed innocent until proved guilty according to law in a public trial at which he has had all the guarantees necessary for his defense” as well as following from Amendments 5, 6, and 14 of the United States Constitution._
  * _Blatant disregard of the rights of the accused including; right to a fair and speedy trial, the protection against self incrimination and the failure to read the suspect their Miranda rights on multiple occassions._
  * _Failure to attain proper evidence from previously committed crimes that would corroborate with current case  before speaking to press on identity of killer when killer is known to be of the serial killer variety._



Norman sat back, rubbing tiredly at his eyes. This would probably turn into a mighty shit-show but he’d be damned if he didn’t have the need to do his job properly. And Blake and Captain Perry were just so blatantly incompetent at the things they did that Norman wasn’t even surprised that it took him coming in to actually get any work done.

He finished the email late into the night, adding notes and attachment after attachment of evidence before sending it off with a heavy sigh, slumping back in his chair. Really, he should have started this all much earlier but the race to find Shaun Mars took top priority.

And speaking of Shaun Mars…Norman really hoped the kid was alright. The chase to find him left Norman particularly invested and helping his father from prison left Norman particularly attached to this case and its victims. He KNEW Shaun Mars would likely not be psychologically and emotionally alright after an ordeal like that. At least not for a while. But he hoped beyond hopes that time and, more importantly, mental care, would help Shaun Mars return to the closest meaning of normal he could.

As for Ethan Mars…Norman leaned his chin on his hand, head tilting as he stared absently at his laptop. He hoped the best for Ethan Mars. Norman hadn’t remembered seeing someone quite so broken yet quite so determined. Ethan Mars had really thought that he was the Origami Killer. Attributed it to a second personality he was barely aware of. But to Norman’s experience, this wasn’t how any of that worked and he knew…just KNEW…that Ethan Mars was NOT the Origami Killer. He had been right in his analysis of Ethan’s psychological profile. And even if the brain could create split personalities in cases of incredibly severe trauma, Norman had a very strong feeling that this was not what this was.

Ethan…Norman’s mind wandered. There was something about Ethan that made Norman think of when he first discovered that he liked men a lot more than he thought he had. Way back in the messy time of 9th grade was when Norman fell really hard for some dumb jock that he never, EVER thought would give him the time of day. They ended up fucking under the bleachers when 10th grade rolled around and dated for a good 3 years.

When Norman finally decided to tell his mother of his particular orientation, her response was just… “It’s just a phase.” He was never sure why, but that response cut almost deeper than being rejected outright. She never denied it but was insistent that he would grow out of it. That he’d mature and find a nice girl and raise a bunch of kids. She was so sure of it, in fact, that it made Norman doubt himself for years and years.

Maybe he WOULD find that girl that would make everything feel…proper. And maybe they WOULD settle down and raise kids and he’d feel happy and fulfilled in his life.

But that never happened. And after years and years of unsuccessful relationships with women, Norman finally…FINALLY took a long hard look at himself and saw the truth that was there all along. He never told his mother and never spoke to her after that.

In short, Ethan made Norman…feel things. It was something about his eyes…the slope of his jawline and how his lips moved slightly nervously when someone spoke to him. When they met, Ethan was broken but Norman wondered just how Ethan would be when he was put together. When he was happy. The idea of a happy Ethan Mars made Norman smile absently at his screensaver.

Not that he actually expected to ever see or hear from Ethan Mars again. Norman knew that quite well and had mostly made peace with it but it still kind of sucked, if he was honest with himself. Still, the case was over, and even if he DID initiate an opening of an investigation into the local police department, he really had no reason to think that he remain here for long.

But the world was full of surprises, it turned out.

The next morning, things were calm enough that Norman decided to take himself out for a nice breakfast. There was a diner not too far from his hotel that one of the bellhops highly recommended to him and Norman thought it would do him some good to eat a good meal.

It was right outside the hotel that Norman almost crashed face first into Ethan Mars. He reeled and was halfway through a stumbled apology when he actually realized who stood before him. Norman stared.

“Ethan! Oh I mean…Mr. Mars! Are yah alright? I didn’t mean t'…I mean…”

Ethan shook his head and when Norman managed to actually look at his face, the other man wore a tired and small but genuine smile. “No…no, it’s alright. I’m sorry, Agent Jayden I uh…well…I’m glad I ran into you…so to speak.”

Norman blinked. “You were looking for me?”

“Yes…I… I might have asked Madison to contact the police for me just to uh…” Ethan trailed off and looked suddenly sheepish, rubbing a hand over his neck. “I wanted to thank you,” he said at last and finally met Norman’s gaze. Norman, for his turn, looked startled.

“Oh, you mean for the...right. It’s quite alright, Mr. Mars, just doing my job,” he said, almost awkwardly before finally noticing Shaun clinging to his father’s hand. The little boy definitely looked better now than he had a week ago but that was to be expected. Shaun looked far more lively than his father, despite everything and smiled at Norman.

Ethan shook his head. “That was…far more than just doing your job, Agent Jayden. I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone…go so far and beyond their call of duty for someone…especially a fugitive. I’m truly in your debt and I thought well…the least I could do is a proper thank you, you know.”

Shaun bounced on his heels. “You saved my dad, Mr. Jayden!” The little boy smiled. “And me! My dad told me about all that stuff you did, it was just so…so…”

“Cool?” Ethan offered.

“The coolest!” Shaun exclaimed and Norman felt suddenly really embarrassed and bashful.

“Ah, it was just some police work,” he said awkwardly but Shaun looked exuberant and remained smiling at Norman. Ethan’s own smile eased a bit.

“You helped us, Agent Jayden,” Ethan said gently, “that’s far more than what any of the police department ever tried to do and I think…well…” he considered for a moment, rubbing a hand through his beard. “Can I…treat you to dinner?”

Norman gaped and Ethan, suddenly realizing what he said, seemed to pull back into himself. “I’m sorry, that’s really inappropriate right? Especially as a former suspect I’m just…not good at this kind of thing and I thought maybe…”

“It’s alright Mr. Mars,”

“Ethan.”

“Ethan…it’s alright, I…” Norman considered, the surprise taking its time to fade, “I really appreciate the offer.”

“But you can’t?”

“Oh no, I can. This isn’t a refusal,” Norman said, almost too eagerly, and had to pull himself back real quick. Steady on, Norman, “what I mean t' say is; I would like that.”

Ethan looked genuinely surprised. “…Really?”

“You don’t need t' feel obliged of course,” Norman added. Ethan shook his head.

“It’s not an obligation. It’s something I WANT to do.”

“Well then,” if Norman had no self control, he’d almost think this was a date, “yes.”

Ethan’s smile was like sunshine, even if dimmed by tiredness. “Great!”

Shaun peered between them before looking imploringly at his father. “I’m coming too, right dad?”

Norman just managed to catch the little look Ethan gave him and gave a tiny nod back. Ethan smiled, careful hand landing on his son’s head. “Of course, Shaun,” he said gently before peering up at Norman, “I’m sorry, Agent Jayden…”

“Norman.”

“Norman. I’m sorry, we don’t want to keep you from your business.”

“Oh you’re not, I was just heading out for breakfast,” Norman paused, an idea striking, “actually…would you two care to join me?”

Shaun gasped loudly and Ethan blinked. “Are you sure?”

“Wouldn’t really offer if I wasn’t,” Norman said easily, studying Ethan carefully. Maybe it was a bit much. Maybe it was a bit too quick. But Norman didn’t want to waste his luck with suddenly bumping into Ethan Mars when he thought he’d never see the man again. Especially while his nerve lasted to actually go through with all of this.

Ethan peered at Shaun. “What do you think, bud?”

“Can we dad? Please?”

“I’d say that’s a yes then?”

Shaun nodded vigorously and Norman felt his heart flutter just a little as Ethan Mars’ smile widened, if only a little. “My treat though,” Ethan said quickly before Norman could say anything in protest and Norman actually laughed.

It was a soft sound, that came half from his nose but it seemed to surprise Ethan mightily because the father gave Norman a strange, studying look before nodding. “Glad we agree,” he said gently, almost jokingly before turning on his heel and beckoning for Norman to follow.

Norman did so quite gladly even if he did his best to keep his composure. He couldn’t believe his luck, honestly, especially with all the shit that he’d gone through in past 2 weeks since arriving in Philadelphia. Still, maybe this was a good sign of things turning around for the better. Lord knows Norman needed a bit of luck, he considered, smiling inwardly as he listened to Shaun fantasize about the French toast he was gonna get for breakfast.

Honestly, Norman couldn’t really imagine would it would be like to have his own little family and it was definitely too much to hope for anything of the sort but this felt…very right. For a moment, he could forget all the other bullshit. The work and the stress…the tripto and the ARI. He could just focus on the moment and feel truly and deeply content. And even if this was nothing as his highest hopes would imagine. Even if it was just a friendly gesture of gratitude…it just felt…very nice. Norman smiled faintly to himself.

Everything else could wait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will fight David Cage personally. 
> 
> Also these two really, really deserve to be happy together and as much as I really like Madison, that romance was awful and inappropriate and when it happened was literally the worst possible time. But you know...David Cage doesn't know what he's doing. I also don't know what I'm doing but I'm at least gonna pretend to know.
> 
> Anyway, thank you for reading! I hope this isn't awful! I just wanted to contribute to this rarepair. 
> 
> Also, no offense (or maybe some offense) but people shipping Blake and Norman need to stop. Norman is a good bean. He doesn't deserve to be so emotionally abused by someone who literally threatens to blow his brains out with a gun. Abuse isn't cool; physical or mental. Please stop this.


	2. Tiny secrets

Norman should have been trying to decide what he wanted to eat but he was…distracted. Chin leaning idly on his hand, Norman felt quite content in simply watching Ethan and Shaun Mars as they chatted, Shaun eagerly indicating the French toast he wanted. They had arrived to a not so busy diner only 10 minutes earlier and Ethan looked visibly relieved at how empty it was, requesting a booth in a far corner with which Norman didn’t argue. The further away from people the better.

Soft 50’s music played over the diner’s loudspeaker and Norman just kind of…lost himself in the moment. He was always more of a people watcher anyway, preferring to study and analyze over interacting and seeing an Ethan Mars who looked so…at ease, was far more refreshing than Norman had imagined. He almost didn’t want to interrupt the moment, Ethan gently laughing at something Shaun said. To Norman, it felt like something out of a movie and he was more than willing to just let the moments play out without ruining it somehow with his social awkwardness.

And Ethan looked…well…pretty. The dark circles Norman remembered so well were gone from around his eyes and from the set of his jaw to his posture, everything said that Ethan was relaxed. Norman could have just enjoyed this moment forever.

“You boys decide what you want?” Boomed a voice from above and Norman jolted out of his reverie in surprise, attention snapping first to their waitress then to the menu. Shit.

The waitress must not have noticed his menu panic as she was beaming at Shaun. “You know what you want, bud?”

“Strawberry French toast please! And a chocolate milk.”

The waitress winked at him. “You got it, little dude,” she said brightly before moving on to take Ethan’s order then to Norman, who, despite staring intently at the menu, had decided nothing and just blurted, “The same, and a black coffee.”

The young woman, whose name Norman remembered finally, was Beth, scooped up the menus with a flourish and departed with a promise of food soon to come. Ethan smiled carefully at her as she left before peering at Norman.

“Is everything alright?”

Norman blinked owlishly before sighing. “’M sorry, I’m better at observing then talkin’, I guess,” he said sheepishly. Ethan didn’t look too bothered but offered Norman a genuine smile.

“Kind of part of the job, isn’t it?”

“Oh, more than ya know,” Norman chuckled faintly, noticing Shaun studying him intently.

“Mr. Jayden…”

“It’s okay, Shaun, you can call me Norman.”

“Mr. Norman,” Shaun started anew, making Norman stifle a faint laugh in the process, “you’re a cop, right?”

“FBI, actually.”

Norman saw Shaun’s eyes light up. “That’s so cool,” he breathed, “do you beat people up a lot?”

Ethan choked slightly on his water but Norman smiled good-naturedly. “Actually, Shaun, I’m more of an investigator. I look at clues. Try t’ find out who did bad things. That kind of stuff.”

“Dad said that you beat up that bad man,” Shaun said, and his voice grew quiet, frowning. The ease that Norman had just seen in Ethan drained immediately. He sat up stiffly, his brows furrowing as careful fingers wrapped around Shaun’s hand.

“Shaun…”

The little boy made a careful smile. “It’s okay dad…I’m okay…”

Norman studied them both intently. Okay Norman, don’t put your foot in your mouth. “I don’t normally like to fight, Shaun…it’s not the best way to solve problems,” he said carefully, his hands interlacing with one another as he steepled them, “but sometimes you meet people that need t’ be stopped. Because they’ve hurt people. Because they might hurt more people. I think…that mighta been the only way t’ stop him,” he finished, a bit lamely.

Shaun considered for a moment, thinking hard while his father’s hand remained firmly clasped around his. “He was very bad,” Shaun breathed softly.

Norman nodded. “He can’t hurt anyone anymore, Shaun. Not you, not your dad. Not anyone.”

“Promise?”

“Cross m’ heart.”

Slowly, Shaun nodded and his shoulders, which had stiffened at the very idea of Scott Shelby, had drooped. “Cuz you kicked his butt?”

“Cuz I kicked his butt,” Norman affirmed, shooting a brief glance at Ethan. He was frankly just surprised that Ethan told Shaun anything that happened with Scott Shelby at all. But then again, he supposed it could serve as a way of calming Shaun if he started to panic over what happened. The assurance that the man who hurt him was gone and he could never hurt him again likely helped ease the anxiety that Shaun Mars definitely had to be going through.

“Thank you, Mr. Norman.”

“Always, Shaun.”

Norman spied Ethan let out a long breath that Norman hadn’t initially realized he was holding, carefully patting his son’s hand before slowly releasing it just as Beth brought over their food, Shaun’s French toast absolutely heaped with whipped cream.

Shaun brightened at the sight and dug in eagerly while Norman finally got to inspect just what he ordered, having not really being paying attention even as he essentially copied Ethan’s order in a panic. Eggs, hash browns, bacon. Good enough.

To his great relief, the conversation drifted from there onto far less serious topics and Shaun seemed to be distracted enough to talk about wanting to learn more about dinosaurs. Norman couldn’t help but note Ethan’s great relief, focusing more on Shaun than his own food. Norman couldn’t blame him.  

As their meal wound down and their plates cleared, Shaun slid from the booth. “I’m gonna use the bathroom, dad!”

Norman saw Ethan stiffen again. “Do you want me to come with you, bud?”

Shaun considered for a few moments, his little brows furrowing until he finally shook his head. “No, it’s okay, dad. It’ll be okay.”

Ethan inhaled deep before nodding, watching his son jog out of sight with a call of, “remember to wash your hands, Shaun!”

It was only when Shaun was out of sight that Ethan exhaled, slumping in his seat. Norman’s head tilted and he asked the question that might have been stupid but needed to be asked. “Are you alright, Ethan?”

It took Ethan a few moments to consider, rubbing a hand over his face. “I just…get these fits of paranoia. What if I lose sight of him and suddenly he’s gone? What if I can’t find him again?”

“Scott Shelby is dead, Ethan.”

“I know but…I…don’t know…” Ethan trailed off weakly. Norman sat up straight, leaning forward against the table.

“I understand you’re scared, Ethan. I can’t imagine what you went through to get your son back. And I get that it will take time but these steps are important. Wean yourself into givin' your son a bit of freedom, a little at a time, at a pace that’s comfortable. But always know that you are there for him and he is safe and nearby.”

Ethan studied Norman for a moment before finally nodding, managing a smile. “I didn’t know you were a shrink too, Norman,” he joked a bit lamely and Norman laughed faintly.

“My criminal psychology degree is mostly for show,” he joked back, finally getting an actual, honest to God, genuine laugh out of Ethan. It made Norman feel soft and warm all over inside and he smiled, leaning his chin on his hand again. When the laughter died down, Ethan’s expression was gentle.

“I don’t think I can ever thank you enough for what you did, Norman,” he said, expression still almost surprisingly soft. Norman swallowed the lump in his throat. Keep calm, Norman.

“It’s quite alright…” he began but Ethan shook his head.

“I meant what I said. I genuinely couldn’t believe that someone would go so far out of their way and so far from their call of duty to do what you did. I just…” Ethan seemed to be considering before he leaned forward and both his hands carefully reached out, cupping Norman’s own hand, “…thank you.”

And in that moment, Norman’s big brilliant brain stopped cooperating, if only for a second. It was so simple and so stupid. Just a touch and Norman was gone; quite frankly, it was embarrassing. It took all his willpower to pull himself back into the moment. He coughed a bit awkwardly and finally managed to meet Ethan’s gaze with his own.

“I’d do it again in a heartbeat.”

Ethan blinked at that and his eyes dashed down briefly at his hands cupping Norman’s own. Norman thought he would pull away quickly or decide he’d gone too far or something. Ethan didn’t. His hands remained where they were and slowly, the thumb of one brushed carefully over Norman’s knuckles. Once… then twice… Ethan never meeting Norman’s eyes as he did so.

Norman swallowed thickly. What even was this..?

“Ethan?”

“I…” he trailed off for a moment, a frown fighting its way off and on his face, “I’m terribly selfish, you know,” he said at last and finally looked up to see the confusion on Norman’s face. “I am. I thought this was to thank you, you know…and it is. But it’s also…for me.”

“Whadaya mean?” Norman strained out, eyes never leaving Ethan’s face. He didn’t want to misread any of this.

“I’ve been stuck thinking things…I’m pretty sure they’re not right. But they’re my thoughts and I want to…sort them out,” Ethan explained without actually explaining. Norman’s eyebrows winged up and he almost forgot the thumb that still remained skating over his knuckles. Ethan breathed out a weak laugh. “That’s an awful explanation isn’t it?”

“It’s not great,” Norman affirmed, expression sheepish.  This time the frown Ethan had been fighting with remained on his face and he bit his bottom lip, working it between his teeth. He looked like he was trying really hard to say something that he almost didn’t want to share.

“Ethan..?” Norman tried but Ethan’s gaze shot up to his face.

“Let me try…please?”

Norman wasn’t sure how to reply so he shut his mouth, studying Ethan intently while Ethan’s attention was in turn focused on their hands.

“So,” he started slowly, glance shooting around the diner before settling back on their hands, “I’m probably terribly wrong about all of this but I think if I don’t say anything it will just eat at me. And I don’t need any more of that.”

He took a long breath and Norman could still feel Ethan’s thumb carefully gliding over his knuckles as if trying to memorize their topography. Norman made no move to stop him. “I don’t think I would have made it through prison…the thought that Shaun was out there and I could do nothing to help him was suffocating,” Ethan said slowly, “and who’d care for a fugitive that everyone was saying killed their son anyway?” Ethan’s voice was bitter, his eyes transfixed on their hands while Norman’s eyes couldn’t move from Ethan’s bowed head. “But…you…cared. It was the strangest thing. I looked in the face of my own death…and my son’s… and in return I found understanding and freedom…”

Norman found he couldn’t really move and Ethan’s fingers on top of his hand felt all the more solid, as if keeping him anchored to this reality with their presence. They felt more real than anything else; their touch almost a caress. “I think I realized something that moment and it’s…put things into perspective…somewhat…I haven’t looked at someone like that since I first met Grace. And I thought…wow…what a beautiful person…is that what being smitten feels like? I think I’ve forgotten…”

Those words yanked Norman right back into the moment. Grace. Ethan Mars’ ex-wife, Grace. Ethan compared the feeling he had when he first met Grace to him? Beautiful?? Smitten?!

“Mr. Mars..!” Norman blurted, almost too loudly and Ethan snapped up so abruptly, he almost smacked his tea cup off the table.

“God, I’m sorry…that was incredibly inappropriate…you’re FBI and you investigated the crime and I’m just… I’m so sorry…” He looked so lost all of the sudden and was likely a second away from bolting for the bathroom.

Norman acted before he even realized he was acting. One moment the warmth of Ethan’s hands left his own, the next Norman had grabbed him, carefully, by the wrist.

“Mr. Ma…I mean Ethan…Ethan. It’s fine. You’re fine.”

Ethan stared at him like a deer in the headlights. “I…”

Norman took a moment to heap all his thoughts into one, more or less coherent pile and loosened his grip on Ethan’s wrist, keeping him there but not forcefully. “It’s fine,” he repeated gently, “I promise it’s fine.”

“But your job..?”

“You’re no longer a suspect right? Cleared of all charges?”

“…Yes?”

“There you are then,” Norman said gently. Ethan took a long breath.

“That’s…you’re awfully calm about all this.”

“Well…can I tell you something?” Norman carefully released Ethan’s wrist, letting his hands rest on the table, waiting for Ethan’s nod. “…It’s a bit embarrassing actually, but if we’re confessing…”

He felt suddenly 14 again, stuttering to that jock he never ever thought he’d have a chance with about all his mishmash of feelings. Okay, Norman, don’t screw this up. “I’d be lyin’, if I said I didn’t feel the same way.”

Ethan gaped at him before slowly and carefully easing back into his seat. “You’re full of surprises, Mr. Jayden,” he said at last and his voice sounded lighter, as if he was holding back a laugh. Norman shot him a slightly crooked smile.

“I’m a man of refined tastes, Mr. Mars,” he said in what he hoped was an easy manner, leaning back and folding his arms across his chest. Ethan actually snorted at that, covering his face with his hand.

“I’m…not actually sure what to say now,” Ethan admitted at last and Norman chuckled faintly.

“Neither am I but I’m sure we’ll figure somethin’ out,” he said just as Shaun jogged back to the table. He paused, peering between the two then shot a small, knowing smile at his father.

“Did you tell him, dad?”

“I uh…well…”

Norman couldn’t help a laugh. “Oh so this was a conspiracy all along, huh?” He teased, watching Ethan relax more as Shaun settled back into the booth. The little boy was still smiling, eyes bright.

“Dad told me he liked you, Mr. Norman,” Shaun said without hesitation, Ethan hiding his face with an embarrassed laugh. Trust children to get to the point far easier than adults. Norman himself felt a wave of bashful embarrassment hit him in force but he tried his best, leaning forward against the table.

“Well Shaun, can I tell ya a secret?”

Shaun nodded eagerly, leaning in with a conspiratorial smile. Norman felt silly and warm all over and whispered quite loudly “I like your dad too.”

From the corner of his eye, Norman saw Ethan grow a bit redder, hand pressed to his lips as he laughed while Shaun beamed, almost jumping in his seat and insisting that he knew all along. Ethan, for his part, looked between embarrassed and relieved and when he paid the bill, Norman saw his shoulder sag as they relaxed once more, frown lines smoothing over. It was a beautiful sight, Norman decided as he followed Shaun and Ethan from the diner, carefully adjusting his jacket.

Outside, Ethan turned, fumbling with an older looking phone. “Well, if we’re going to have dinner, we might as well share numbers, right?” He said with a sheepish smile, Norman returning it before they exchanged numbers.

For two adults, they sure were acting like middle schoolers with their first crush but Norman decided that it was forgivable considering the circumstances. Numbers exchanged and plans made, they parted ways with the promise of a dinner the next night. Norman waved, watching Ethan and Shaun until they disappeared from sight and only then did he allow himself a full and hearty laugh, clapping both hands together and pressing them to his nose and lips.

“Oh my god…”

That really just happened. Not only did he have breakfast with Ethan Mars…he actually ADMITTED things to Ethan Mars that he never in a million years expected to admit to anyone but himself. To top it off, ETHAN had been the one to get the ball rolling by admitting to things himself.

Unbelievable.

Norman had to pinch himself to make sure this was real and he wasn’t having some kind of…weird ARI induced hallucination. His skin burned beneath his fingers and it was as good enough a sign as any that this was real.

He had a date. And his date was Ethan Mars.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Norman Jayden is a gay disaster, pass it on. 
> 
> Oh my gosh you guys! Thank you so much to all of you for your lovely comments! I'm almost kinda surprised the fandom is still alive and kicking after several years. It's gratifying, honestly. 
> 
> anyway, I don't know what I'm doing. enjoyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
> 
> Also, I've definitely decided there's gonna be fucking. Oh and I wanna include Madison/Lauren in here somewhere because goddamn do both ladies deserve so much better than what they got in the game.


	3. Firsts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't get a good chance to read this chapter over cuz I just got tired of looking at it, so there are probably mistakes. Will correct them ASAP, please bear with me.

In honesty, Norman hadn’t had a date in YEARS. Four years in fact, but he wasn’t counting, honestly. Still, Norman reasoned as he stared at himself in the hotel mirror, it will be a nice change from the insane bustle of his life to go out with another person he felt so genuinely attracted to. It would likely take his supervisors some time to look into his email and the evidence he gathered so Norman relished the idea of sticking around the city for a while.

His reflection, he noted, still looked quite tired, deep circles tracing under his eyes. It was no surprise; Norman had spent the majority of the week either doing press conferences, interviews, or gathering evidence for his potential investigation to actually allow himself much sleep. Still, he did his best for the date.

First date in years and all that.

Norman had stopped work a few hours early, taking his time to shower and shave, cleaning up as best as he could. Not that he felt that he needed to; it really did seem that Ethan liked him already, but Norman figured every little bit helped.

A suit was too formal, especially for the place they chose so Norman decided on some jeans, black turtleneck and a deep gray jacket, feeling very librarian in the process. He supposed it was good enough, brushing his fingers through his well combed hair and resisting the urge to absolutely douse himself in cologne before dashing out the door. He couldn’t be late…that would be a bad look.

He arrived at the restaurant early and got them a nice table by the window, nervously adjusting his jacket. Everything would go just fine…right? He had nothing to worry about…nothing at all. It was just a date with someone he was massively attracted to and his first date in so long…Norman swallowed the lump in his throat. He was an adult, damnit…why couldn’t his brain pretend to actually act like one?

While he was busy psyching himself out, Shaun blossomed almost in front of him, beaming wide.

“Hi, Mr. Norman!”

Norman practically jumped out of his skin, snapping violently into the moment. “Hey, bud!” He said abruptly, trying to look like he WASN’T just freaking out and giving Shaun his best smile just as Ethan walked up.

Ethan cleaned up nicely, Norman found, suddenly transfixed. He had shaved that impressive beard he’d been growing and combed his hair, wearing a low v-neck sweater that showed just enough collar bone for Norman to want to trace it with his fingers.

Norman coughed awkwardly at the thought, wondering if he should stand and not really having time to decide while Ethan pulled out a chair of Shaun, sitting himself as his son settled. Ethan, Norman saw, was smiling.

“You clean up well, Agent Jayden,” he teased and Norman found himself coughing awkwardly again, rubbing at his neck.

“It’s a lot of effort, Mr. Mars,” he said at last, playing along, “although I noticed you shaved that impressive beard of yours.”

Ethan laughed, scooping up his menu. “It was starting to consume my face, I think.”

“Well,” Norman said, “we can’t have that. It’s a very nice face.”

Norman saw Ethan’s face go a little pink, but he laughed just the same. “I’ll keep that in mind. Although I’m sure I could grow it so impressive that we could hide baby birds in it,” Ethan said brightly and Norman just had to marvel at how much more at ease the father seemed. Maybe all that guilt and self doubt and denial was just adding that much more pain to the man who had already gone through so much.

Shaun giggled at the thought of baby birds hiding in his dad’s beard while the waiter came up, taking their drink orders. Ethan must have been feeling particularly fancy as he ordered them a bottle of wine while getting a non-alcoholic Shirley Temple for Shaun as Shaun liked to play with the little umbrellas that often came with them.

Norman leaned his chin on his hand, watching them quietly as all his earlier worries seemed to melt away. Maybe it was just being with them now, but Norman wasn’t even sure what he was so scared of before. Making a fool of himself? Well, the wine might contribute to that but for now, he had full control of his faculties to hopefully prevent anything foolish.

And dinner was, in a word, lovely. Ethan seemed to be having one of his good days and brought the full brunt of all of his positive feelings to their date. Norman barely paid attention to his steak, all of him focused on Ethan; his face, his eyes, his laugh. God, his laugh…Norman could listen to that laugh for hours. It was low and a bit breathy and it made him wonder just what he’d sound like during…other activities.

The thought was too much and Norman had to pull quickly from his mind, focusing instead on their conversation. They talked about everything; work, food, Shaun’s new school, Ethan’s new job. Norman even opened up about the potential investigation to which Ethan perked up a bit.

“Really? The FBI can do that?”

“We have wide jurisdiction,” Norman affirmed, taking a sip of wine and feeling it tingle down his throat, “the fact that they showed such blatant disregard for everythin’, including suspect safety is frankly disgustin’.”

Ethan’s head tilted, watching Norman for a moment. He looked like he wanted to say something but changed his mind halfway, instead saying, “I don’t know much about police work but…well…”

“Ya have every right to say that everythin’ they did was complete…nonsense,” Norman said, correcting himself from the swear that almost slipped out, peering at Shaun before shrugging, “anyway, it’ll take my superiors a bit of time t’ get back t’ me, so I’ll be around for a while.”

Ethan beamed at that. “That’s good to hear!” he said brightly as Shaun bounced in his seat.

“Can we hang out more, Mr. Norman?” the little boy asked and Norman felt a warmth in his heart that only spread as he saw Ethan’s almost hopeful expression. Norman smiled.

“Of course, bud. I’m here for ya.”

Shaun grinned wide and stuffed a fry in his mouth. “Thanks, Mr. Norman!” he said eagerly, Ethan’s expression ever so soft as he ruffled a hand through his son’s hair. He shot Norman a grateful look and Norman just knew that another ‘thank you for everything you’ve done!’ was coming. Norman chuckled.

“I see that look, Ethan. You’re quite welcome,” he said easily, making Ethan laugh.

The rest of the dinner passed easily enough, Shaun insisting on dessert which he then insisted they help him with. By the end, Norman was good and full and leaned back in his seat with a content grunt.

“Well, it’s been a while since I ate quite that much,” he chuckled and Ethan smiled easily at him.

“We can arrange more of these dinners if you’re so inclined,” he said casually, paying the bill before Norman could even look at it.

Norman snorted. “Well, if you’re offering, Mr. Mars, who am I to refuse?” he said, almost theatrical in his resignation to the idea, Ethan chuckling gently, “although, the next one is definitely on me.”

When they exited the restaurant, Ethan paused, looking thoughtfully unsure before turning to face Norman. “Tonight was great,” he said gently before stepping a pace closer, “do you mind if I…uh..?” he added, vaguely miming a hug. Norman couldn’t help but laugh even as his heart leapt into his throat. God please do…

“Course not,” he said instead and Ethan’s smile eased, stepping forward to carefully wrap his arms around Norman, who didn’t hesitate to return the gesture. Ethan felt very solid against him, a pleasant weight pressed to his chest and it took all of Norman’s restraint from not burying his face in the shorter male’s neck. He just happened to be shorter by around 4 inches or so and his forehead, Norman noted, was just the height of his lips.

A fact to tuck away for later, Norman decided as they pulled apart, Ethan smiling and Shaun bouncing beside him. “Can I have a hug too, Mr. Norman?” he asked brightly and Norman laughed, having to kneel before letting Shaun wrap his little arms around his neck. Shaun hugged as tight as his father and Norman could just make out that bright, soft smile that spread over Ethan’s face at the sight. Norman wasn’t sure, but he almost looked like he wanted to cry, fingers pressing to his lips.

When Norman let Shaun go, Shaun was beaming. “You’re really cool, Mr. Norman,” he said eagerly, “I’m glad you like my dad!”

Ethan choked out a laugh and Norman smiled sheepishly, ruffling Shaun’s hair as he stood, unfolding to his full height. “Well, if it’s worth anything, I’m glad your dad likes me back,” he said and Ethan’s face grew pink, chuckling nervously.

A lovely sight, Norman decided and smiled sheepishly. “Too much?”

Ethan shook his head, chuckling. “Not at all.”

And even though Norman was already sure of that reply before he even asked, the confirmation was enough to confirm everything he had hoped.

Ethan Mars…what a man.

After that night, more dates came and went. Some with Shaun coming along for the ride, other times it was just the two of them while Shaun was at his mother’s. Those days Ethan was both more relaxed and a bit more agitated, likely from pure worry. It was on those days and after they got more comfortable with one another that Norman would carefully pull Ethan against himself, both arms securely around the father until his breathing leveled and his eyes closed. He could just tell that there was something very secure that Ethan found in his arms and the feeling that he was no longer alone helped soothe his nerves greatly.

Still, they hadn’t yet kissed.

Norman was sure that they were both waiting for the right moment. That right feeling. It was almost there, but he didn’t want to rush things. Wanted Ethan to be as comfortable as possible.

As it turned out, he didn’t have to wait long.

 It was a gloomy Thursday night after they put Shaun to bed with both of them curled up on the couch in Ethan’s flat for some late night TV, Norman’s head propped up against the armrest. Rain pattered on the windows, creating a light rhythm just barely audible beneath the murmuring of the TV, street lamps casting a pale yellow light through un-curtained windows.

Norman thought Ethan had fallen asleep against him, head tucked neatly under Norman’s chin. “You know,” came a low voice, startling Norman from the TV, “I’m glad we met.”

Blinking owlishly, Norman couldn’t help a laugh that escaped him while Ethan adjusted in his arms. “I would have preferred it to be under different circumstances,” Norman shrugged, making Ethan snort.

“Not enough excitement for you, Agent Jayden?”

Norman rolled his eyes to the dark room. “Almost too much excitement, Mars. I’d rather it be as cliché and comfortable as possible.”

He felt Ethan move against him, turning in his arms so that they were suddenly face to face, Ethan’s chin both on his hand and on Norman’s chest. “That can be arranged,” he drawled, head leaning to the side as he peered into Norman’s eyes, “say there, mister, I saw you from across the bar and though, hmmm, he looks like a man who has good taste. Care for a drink?”

Norman couldn’t help the breathy laugh that escaped him, even as his heart beat just a little faster, watching Ethan with the uneven lighting from the television. “Are you buyin’, stranger?” he asked with a quirk of an eyebrow. Ethan smirked but his gaze was soft.

“Only if you’re willing.”

“Well,” Norman considered theatrically, still watching Ethan’s expression, “normally, I’d say no, do t' work and all that, buuuut, seeing as I’m off and free t' mingle…” he shrugged absently and Ethan snorted loudly, having to duck down his head against Norman’s chest.

Norman could feel him laughing. “Even in fantasy, you’re talking about work, Jayden!” came the muffled protest before Ethan looked up once more, their eyes meeting, “everything okay?”

He looked so sincere in his sudden worry that Norman felt a bit guilty. “Everythin’s fine, Ethan.”

“You sure?”

“Mhmm.”

Ethan studied him intently in this uneven light, hand absently reaching up to gently stroke the scar over Norman’s cheek. His fingers trailed absently from there to Norman’s lips before stopping. He seemed to be considering and Norman held his breath.

“Ethan?”

“Yes.”

It wasn’t so much a question as it was a statement and Norman didn’t even notice as Ethan seemed to be closer. So much closer…

Norman all but forgot how to breathe for that brief yet long moment until Ethan finally bridged the gap and their lips connected. At first, they moved slow, experimentally testing the waters but when neither man chose to pull apart, Norman took it upon himself to slowly deepen the kiss, lips parting more and head tilting to the side.

Ethan was marvelously responsive to the gesture, making a low noise in the back of his throat as his lips parted as well, fingers gently pressed to Norman’s cheek. His lips were surprisingly soft, Norman noted and tasted a bit of vanilla, pleasantly pliant as the kiss deepened even more. Lips became tongue and lips and Norman couldn’t help the almost lewd noise that escaped him, arms winding tightly around Ethan’s shoulders, pulling him even closer, not quite ready to pull away…

“Dad, can I have a glass of water?”

And just like that, Ethan tore away, letting out a startled noise and falling gracelessly from the couch with a loud thud. Norman hefted himself on his elbows, blinking the shock from his face while Ethan scrambled to stand quickly.

“Sure thing, bud, hang on!” he called down the hall, disappearing into the kitchen. There were some clinking and sloshing, footsteps shuffling down the hall and quiet voices murmuring. After a few moments, there was the click of a door closing and Ethan reappeared in the living room. He looked a bit frazzled, breathless and slightly red lipped but when he peered down at Norman, he couldn’t hold back the laughter that escaped him, pressing a hand to his face to stifle it. Norman had both hands clapped to his lips, his own laughter threatening to break through his fingers as he all but collapsed against the couch.

It took them moments to stop and at that point, Ethan was practically doubled over, one hand holding onto his knees. “Well,” he managed in a hoarse whisper, “we’ll have to continue this another time. Maybe a more private time?” he added, and Norman could practically imagine the waggling of eyebrows. He snorted.

“Uncouth, Mr. Mars,” he teased, finally forcing himself to sit up, swinging his legs over the side of the couch so his feet met the wooden floor, “but I think I’ll take ya up on that offer.”

Ethan smiled wide, stepping forward to gently snag Norman’s chin and pressing their lips together for another kiss. It was far more chaste than their first kiss but Norman sighed happily into it, letting Ethan pull away.

“Good night, Agent Jayden.”

“Good night, Mr. Mars.”

Norman watched Ethan disappear into his room and sprawled back on the couch, the TV drawling quietly in the dark until he turned it off.

Yup…this was definitely worth it, Norman decided, not taking long to drift off to sleep.

That night he dreamt of Ethan. He dreamt of family and the taste of vanilla. And even in his dreams, Norman just KNEW that this was all actually real anyway.

Family…who could have imagined it...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and then they smorch, hot darn
> 
> next chapter will probably definitely have them frick frack because wow, I'm basic and that's what I'm building to. I suppose that will result in a rating change as well. 
> 
> but for real though! I'm overwhelmed by everyone's super lovely comments! I'm so sorry I'm incredibly bad at replying to them but I will get there, yes I will! 
> 
> your support means more to me than I can say and it keeps me motivated to keep going with this gay rubbish. thank you, all!!!!


End file.
